Houston, We Have a Small Problem Here
Rare is the album that features a Gold for every track; and “I Look to You” seems quite intent on dishing out Bronze after Bronze for one’s listening (un)enjoyment. Much like the album art – a nice picture at first glance – closer inspection reveals something is amiss. Is it the slightly sad look in her eyes? Or perhaps the smirk of uneasiness on her face? She seems keenly aware she is not dropping a true winner here.
It is obvious at the start of our long awaited Whitney journey that her reputation was not the injured party in the 14-year Brown-Houston Alliance – her voice, too, the collateral damage and unfortunate casualty of having to yell “Bobby!” and “hell-to-the-naw!” one too many times. Every now and then a dalliance into drugs can do wonders for a singer; but Whitney’s new raspy voice is less potential Janis Joplin and more early stage swine flu. It is not an insurmountable obstacle for the listener; but you may find yourself imagining the clarity of what might have been had she found her way into a recording studio a decade earlier.
But her voice is really a mere disappointment when considered against the catalogue of infantile lyrics penned for these alleged songs. With such moments as “you think your shit don’t stank, but it do,” they’re words one would expect to stumble from the under-developed maturity of a 14 year old little girl, not a 46 year old vocal and record-setting force that surely has a complex and complicated story to tell.
In the album’s final song, Whitney wisely tells us, “don’t call it a comeback.” We won’t. It’s a warm-up. You can stay Whitney, but we all know you can (and need to) do better on the next one.
Track 1: Million Dollar Bill
It’s a bit odd, thanks to a strange rhythm; but it’s one of the more enjoyable tracks.
Track 2: Nothin’ But Love
You’ll find on page 17 of “The Fallen Diva’s Comeback” playbook, on is required to have a “you-can’t-keep-me-down” track. And this is it. However, I’m pretty sure proffering such saccharine lyrics and impaired musical arrangement aren’t supposed to be part of the deal, too.
Track 3: Call You Tonight
My advice would be to send it voicemail, and listen to the message later.
Track 4: I Look to You
I can only imagine she’s looking for the melody in this gem. Sadly, it’s a group effort.
Track 5: Like I Never Left (feat. Akon)
Yeah, we could have done without Akon altogether. Whitney Houston needs no teenage sidekick to enhance her relevance and legitimacy, thank you. And the song shits the bed, too.
Track 6: A Song For You
There is no need to have Whitney doing cover songs, I say; she’s not completely done (yet). Traditionalists will object to the turn this song takes; but multiple attempts compelled me to conclude it would be a pretty good song to run to.
At this point, you may need to brace yourself for an unapologetic slide through a series of odd, boring songs with simplistic production value.
Track 7: I Didn’t Know My Own Strength
If you manage to endure this one all the way through, you’ll at least have a better idea of your own pain threshold.
Track 8: Worth It.
It simply wasn’t. And it seems a more fitting title for the track would have been “For the Lovers.”
Track 9: For the Lovers
The fast forward button gets a little breather here. In fact, you may find yourself putting this one on repeat a couple of times…if for no other reason than to recover from the lackluster experience of the album thus far,…which the next track endeavors to remind everyone of.
Track 10: I Got You
No, you don’t.
Track 11: Salute
At least she did us a favor of ending the album with an enjoyable song. Like the album, the song itself is uneven. There are a couple of moments when you frown slightly and just have to give the nation’s favorite former crack addict the benefit of the doubt.
But not to be outdone by her longtime nemesis, this month Ms. Mariah Carey reminds us of her own battered voice that, too, is slightly past its prime. To her credit though, the Mimi Butterfly is a better lyricist. She may be our last opportunity to prove the power ballad was not just a long, lost treasure of the 80s and 90s.
