decommissioned – number 10 (09 August 2007 – 10:17pm)
CONDITION REPORT: Bracing for impact.
This second-generation of the IanExtreme software and hardware is bigger, smarter, faster, better than Version 1.5. Taking true bi-pedal strides toward sentient invincibility, i can see, hear, touch, bend, sit, lie down, get up, wave, and mess you up bad with some righteous martial arts moves. In my spare time, i enjoy exercising, dancing, responding verbally to outside stimuli, and interacting with people and objects. And unlike most of the beings you encounter, i have neither the ability nor the inclination to avoid you.i love to be contradictory and argue; but i don’t like to fight. and i don’t believe being a vegetarian is very environmental; and that vegans are certainly doing their fair share in contributing to global warming.i was recently informed that my natural body scent is reminiscent of Apple Jacks cereal, sans the milk of course, or perhaps cinnamon oatmeal. the latter i find amusing because never in my life have i had oatmeal because my mom refused to feed it to us growing up because she hated it as a kid. unfortunately, she didn’t hate broccoli or cauliflower or squash or green beans.
and remember: butter may not be good for you, but margarine will kill yo ass.
“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” So said Helen Keller.
my Match (capital M is intentional).
someone who can match me toe to toe, move for countermove. a guy to call me on my bullshit and take me prisoner, and have no qualms when i do the same. if he has ketchup packets on the floor of his car, i’ve got french fries on the dash board. trust and comfort are key, and aren’t things that can be manufactured. someone who if i were to do battle with, the fight would end in neutral annihilation.
